I dreamt about John Mayer last night...

And no, it wasn't one of those kind of dreams. I took my 3 little girls (6, 3 and 2) to his concert when he asked all of the little kids to get up on stage and dance. I was lucky enough to be able to sit on the couple of steps on the side of the stage, watching and enjoying. The kids danced all around John, who seemed to be having a pretty good time. While the two older girls were dancing (in the middle of a pretty big group of kids...who takes their kids to a concert?) the little one had to go to the bathroom. We went backstage, which looked oddly like a public elementary school. For some reason I let her pee in the sink. Suddenly I heard the two guys from the Barenaked Ladies signing along with John (I have no idea what song it was) and I grabbed my kid, pulling up her pants on the way. I was crazy excited to see the combination only dreams could conjur. After the concert my kids went to eat in the concert hall cafeteria (huh?) and I saw a whole bunch of people from my high school (that I haven't talked to since 93) one of whom had actually shrunk since then and stood about 2 feet tall, she didn't even come to my hips. There were some very yummy ham and cheese croissants, in fact, all there was to eat were croissants. When I finally found my kids, they were falling asleep on the table they were sitting at, crayons and papers scattered all around them.

I really love to sleep.

Yesterday...

Some baby puked all over my dog. She's not that ugly, is she?

what the hell is wrong with people

I would like to know what the $&%* is wrong with people. I waited a mother f-ing 30 minutes while one idiot used the bank machine to pay what must have been an entire year's worth of bills. I'm not exaggerating either, I checked my watch, it was 30 minutes. I was so pissed I cursed his penis.

Could I be old?

Before anybody starts complaining, I have a whole list of excuses for waiting nearly 5 months to post anything. Most of them are bullshit, but I guess making an international move and not having a reliable internet connection for 4 of those months seem borderline reasonable. I haven't even been writing any flash fiction and honestly, it's making me nervous. I mean, how can you see yourself as a writer if you don't ever write? I can say that I don't have the time, but really, that's a bunch of crap. You make time for what's important, right? So, instead of actually sitting down to write like a good little girl, I've spent the last couple of weeks on www.funtrivia.com dicking around. Now there's a new worldwide trivia contest and I'm totally addicted. I'm even playing in hardcore mode, which sounds kinky in a nerd sort of way. I've also discovered John Mayer's blog (which, of course, has absolutely nothing to do with kinky hardcore nerdiness) and was led to buy his new album on iTunes which I also recently discovered (because I live under a rock.) I'm pretty sure I love the new album, Continuum. He's payed homage to so many artists, that I find myself listening, thinking shit, this reminds me of someone, some song, but I can never place anything. Listening to the album inspired me to cruise on over to Music Match and actually pay money for a subscription so I could listen to all those ancient musicians I love and haven't payed attention to in so long. I spent a lovely evening ironing and singing along to Janis Joplin, although I think my voice may have given my girls nightmares (which are nothing compared to the ones they had after I danced to Hips Don't Lie by Shakira.) The next morning, I tortured my daughters with a discourse on why In Memory of Elizabeth Reed by the Allman Brothers just might very well be the greatest jam out concert song of all time. My oldest, all of 5, stared at me like I was insane, and asked to hear Maroon 5 (This Love in particular.)

By the way, I'm doing NaNo WriMo this year, so don't talk to me next month!

weight loss

For the past year I have been trying to lose weight. After Zoe was born last year, I was so FAT and I felt disgusting. I tried for about 9 months to lose weight without changing my eating habits and only exercising. It just doesn´t work that way! Even though I was at the best fitness level I had been at in a long time, I was still really fat. In 9 months I had managed to lose 6lbs. Pathetic, right? In December of last year I decided to take the leap and change the way I eat. A revolutionary undertaking. And what´s worse, I chose to follow a so-called fad diet. That´s just as bad as buying crap off the home shopping network. So, in the first week of December, during the prime eating season of the year, I started the South Beach Diet. I stopped eating bread, rice, potatoes, sweets and a million other things, and started eating more vegetables, meat and sugar free diet foods (gasp!) And by Christmas I had lost about 18lbs. By January 1st, I had lost another 4lbs, for a total of 22lbs. After that, it was slow going, but in the past 4.5 months, I´ve lost another 20lbs and counting. I have another 16lbs to go to reach my goal weight of 120lbs. The most surprising and, honestly, depressing thing about my weight plunge has been how easy it is. I could have been a thinner person if I hadn´t been so scared to change the way I eat. And I´m getting sick of everyone telling me how much better I look and making such a big g-ing deal about it. I mean, it is a big deal to me, but having everyone (and I mean everyone, not just my friends, but every single employee at the grocery store I go to) basically tell me how great I look now makes me wonder how they saw me before. Was I really that fat? I must have been...and I guess I still see myself as a fat person. I wonder if that will ever change.